Friday, August 17, 2007

Emotions

I started Provera a few days ago(to induce cycle, I'm on day 3 of 10). Now I feel that I may be ovulating. How am I to feel. Happy? How, I really doubt that I will be able to O without injectables. I have no idea how I'm going to see an RE if I don't get pregnant in the next few months with my OB. Being a teacher really makes things difficult. I'm not supposed to leave school until 3:15 and I know that the closest RE is about 45min away. I have no idea if they will let me have 4pm appts every time. Plus being a beginning teacher, I don't have any time saved up.

I don't know how I'm supposed to do this anymore. I get my hopes up that I'm Oing and I find out that I'm not even doing that. It seems like 1 step up, 3 steps back. I'm wondering if trying to have our own child is even worth all of this. I'm ready to adopt if that is what we need to do.

I ache for a child of my own. I believe that a birth child of mine is what God has in store for me. I don't know why I doubt him, or why I get so discouraged. I try to smile, and think positive, but it isn't very easy.

~Emotionally Drained

and to top it off, my room should be finished, and it isn't even close.

4 comments:

Joy said...

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time.
Good luck to you.

We have Angel Wings said...

I'm sorry things are going south for you. Please let me know if you need a friend.

I have good ears to listen and good shoulders for tears to fall upon. You know how to find me.

Good luck and I'm thinking of you always.

Tarah~

nickoletta100 said...

Sounds like you need a hug, so hugs to you. Sorry today is a bad day. :(

Meghan said...

Sorry you're having a hard time. Is there a way you can talk to your director or principal at school? We always find a way to accomodate people's appts, sometimes a resource teacher takes over for the afternoon or morning? And my RE offers most monitoring appts before work each day

Good luck, I hope you can work something out and feel better!