Cycle 7

I'm on to cycle 7. This cycle will work. The number 7 has always been lucky for us, so it has to be this time. :)

Just pray for Gods will and that we will have healthy children.


In His Time!

I'M LATE!

I don't want to get my hopes up, but I'm late. This cycle is very confusing. I had a positive OPK right before I started my provera and didn't really believe it because I've never had one.

Well I ALWAYS get af 2(pm)-3(am)days after Provera. Today is day 4 after. Still no AF. I tested this am and I'm only 11dpo, it was BFN.

The only thing different is I only took Provera for 7 days instead of 10. I guess I will have to wait a few days to see what happens.

AHHHHHH!

Anniversary

Today is our second wedding anniverary. I really thought that we would have a child by now. DH was so sweet this morning and all day. We didn't want to spend too much money on our anniversary, so we just went out to dinner. We are at home relaxing with our puppy and watching tv. We didn' t go out and do anything else because I have a really bad head ache.

I have a new attitude about TTC. We will get pregnat whatever it takes. We will have a child of our own. I don't know how we will pay for it, but we will. DH and I were talking about when to try for our second child(lord willing that we have our first). He surprised me by saying that he doesn't want to prevent from the time that our first is born. Even if I get pg 3mo after giving birth, he is ok with that. I was pretty surprised by that, but pretty much feel the same.

Well, I'm off to cuddle with DH. Have a great night.

Baby Dust for everyone.

Emotions

I started Provera a few days ago(to induce cycle, I'm on day 3 of 10). Now I feel that I may be ovulating. How am I to feel. Happy? How, I really doubt that I will be able to O without injectables. I have no idea how I'm going to see an RE if I don't get pregnant in the next few months with my OB. Being a teacher really makes things difficult. I'm not supposed to leave school until 3:15 and I know that the closest RE is about 45min away. I have no idea if they will let me have 4pm appts every time. Plus being a beginning teacher, I don't have any time saved up.

I don't know how I'm supposed to do this anymore. I get my hopes up that I'm Oing and I find out that I'm not even doing that. It seems like 1 step up, 3 steps back. I'm wondering if trying to have our own child is even worth all of this. I'm ready to adopt if that is what we need to do.

I ache for a child of my own. I believe that a birth child of mine is what God has in store for me. I don't know why I doubt him, or why I get so discouraged. I try to smile, and think positive, but it isn't very easy.

~Emotionally Drained

and to top it off, my room should be finished, and it isn't even close.

Negative P4

Not only was it negative, it was only a .8 WOW. I took the test at what I thought was 7 dpo. I had determined this by some cm and pains on my left side.

Well now I'm at cd 27 and all of a sudden I have very EW CM, nothing like CD15 and feel a little crampy. My CP is also right on with on coming ovulation. I decided that I'm not going to tell DH that I think that I'm Oing and just BD any way.

Now I will have to wait at least 2 more weeks. LOL

School starts two weeks from Monday. :)

No answer today.

Had my blood drawn for the P4 today, but no results yet. I hope they call tomorrow. I really don't want to wait any longer.

Monday, tomorrow.

I will find out if I Ovulated or not. I thought that I did, now I'm second guessing it. I will go in at 9am to have my blood drawn. They do a P4 test to see if I ovulated and how my hormones look now.

I'm not even sure what the levels should look like, so I will need to ask the nurse what it should be. I'm praying that I at least Ovulated, then we can tackle the getting pg part later if we have to. I'm sure that I won't get pg on my first cycle of Femara.

We will find out tomorrow.

Now I get to wait.

Not like I haven't been waiting before, but now I have a certain day. Monday will be my first ever P4 test to see if I ovulated. I have that gut feeling that I did, so I will just have to wait to see if the test confirms it, or if I'm just loony. :) I guess I will know if I should get my hopes up about being pg or not. If it is confirmed that I Oed, then I will only have about 1 week of waiting for a pg test.

I hope that I can stay distracted this weekend so that it passes quickly. My friend is moving down here today from MI, I'm so excited she will be living in my apartment complex and teaching in my building at school. She will be moving into her apartment all weekend.

DH and I want to go see "Bourne Ultimatum" this weekend. It opens tonight, and I loved the first two movies. I hope this one is just as good as the other two. I'm not sure how we are going to go see it tonight and not be rude to my friend. She will be driving in tonight and staying that at our place till she moves in on Saturday.

I think that I have an answer of what I'll be teaching in a few weeks. It sounds like I'll be teaching 4th and I don't have to change classrooms. I really should be at school, working in my classroom.

Have a great day!

Waiting...

Life/vent

I know that I should be happy, but I guess I'm pretty Blah right now. So many things on my mind and I don't know how to get anything done. I know that I'm going to have a lot of responsibility on me very soon.

DH started his new job he will be gone for two weeks, home for two, gone for two and so on. It will be weird getting used to the schedule, but I'm sure that we will be fine. He has already expressed concern about being away from me when we have a little one. I know that he is going to love this new job and I don't want anything to hold him back in that. Where he works is such a large place, and we know that he can change positions in the company if he wants to.

I have to be at school starting Aug 13th, and I wish I could be there right now and work on my class room. The problem is I don't know what grade or room I will be in. I will either be teaching 3rd, 4th, or 5th. I like the rooms that I would have for 3rd or 4th. The 4th room is the room I had last year. I honestly want 3rd or 4th, but I will have to wait and see. Many of the teachers are already there setting up their classrooms. I wish I could join them. I should have some answers on/by Friday. Although I could spend all day at school tomorrow if I wanted to, but not really since I don't know what room I will be in. The school provides a laptop for teachers, and I got mine today. It isn't anything to brag about. It was purchased over 4 years ago. I'm surprised that it is still running. LOL.

Then there is the all consuming IF. For the first time ever it looks like I have Oed. Then I take my temp and it doesn't follow my thought of an O. Also I never got a +OPK. I was going by my saliva monitor and my horrid cramps. I guess I will find out on Monday. Either it will be a good day and I will have a hope of being pregnant for the first time ever. Or it will be an awful day that I will have to wonder how in the world will I make my schedule work around DH's work schedule so that he is home for BDing. It isn't like I will be able to fly to wherever he is so we can BD. Not with being a teacher that is.

I guess I just feel emotionally drained. I'm normally so positive and upbeat. Today though, is just a different story. I don't even know how to express how I feel. I guess I didn't start my day off the greatest. I woke up in the middle of the night, thinking I was going to get sick and ended up sleeping on the couch so DH could get a good night sleep. Then about an hr later, he wandered out to see where I was cause he was worried about me. AWWW. he is so sweet.

If you have made it to the end of this post, you should get an award. Thanks for reading you are a true friend.